Monday

Baby girl has an appointment with a specialist on Monday for her breathing issue. Please keep us in your prayers. At times she seems to get better and other days I think she struggles a bit. I just wish it would get better sooner than later. Cold and flu season scares the you know what out of me. She just can't get sick at all. It would be bad.
On a side note, I've been praying very diligently about something. I feel so confused as to what God's plan is for me as a mother. I've been reading all kinds of books about creating a domestic church within one's home, finding grace as a mother and such. I even joined a study at church called Women of Grace. It starts next month. Am I supposed to be home more, stay where I am, find something more flexible? What exactly am I to do? I feel like God is calling me to something very different but I can't figure out how to get there exactly. I've always been such a control freak where my job is concerned. Why can't I let go? Why am I so afraid of the unknown? I crave a simpler life... How does one get to that and still keep the family afloat financially? I feel stressed out by all of this running through my head constantly. Especially with my back to work date looming in front of me. I wish I could snap my fingers and it would all be figured out and I'd be at peace.